My Colour Of Life

28th December, my first appointment with Psychiatrist at Halaman Minda Hospital Kulim. My mom was funny. She didn't allow me to tell my dad that I am going to Halaman Minda. She asked me to carry my laptop and tell him that I am going to work half day 😂Well, I agree with her idea because I do not one to create any issue at home. How is everything? Everything went well thanks to the Almighty. My appointment is at 9:00 AM   nurse and they took my BP. Thank God it is normal. I was expecting my BP is high as I am very busy with work these past 2 weeks. After BP checking, Dr Chew called my name. I followed her to her room, and she started to ask me about my life history. Your family, past relationships, work and lots of things. She asked what makes me reached out for help, Why I can't let go of my past, since when I feel worthless. She diagnosed me as depression and anxiety as what the doctor from Klinik Kesihatan diagnosed me 2 weeks ago. After that, she handed me 2 papers of ques

  On the December 13th, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety by the doctor. How did I know? Constantly worried, mood changes, feeling not good enough for anybody. Suicidal thoughts? I never think of suicidal but there is a sentence keep on playing in my mind. " One cut, will solve everything". I know I have to seek help because I don't feel comfortable with myself. I can't stop thinking about what had happen in the past. I can't control my sadness. There's time I have to stop by the roadside because of anxiety. There are times, I felt like I want a car to hit me so that I do not have to go to work. There are also times that I just want to be alone and cry. How many years I have been living with this problem? 5 years. Doctor first question yesterday, why now? Why you don't reach out to us sooner. I have been sharing with my circles about this and they say that I was carried away with my feelings. I can't validate my feelings. I scared that if I k